#94: Interpersonal Conflict

A BRIEF MEDITATION

A river turns, curves, carves, and meanders through its path. It confronts obstacles from tiny pebbles to towering boulders.

Despite points of friction, the river never loses sight of its destination – the expansive body of water ahead.

Yes, conflict happens. We do our best to adapt and flow past it, but we always prioritize our purpose and authenticity. Let life teach and expand you, one experience after the other, but keep flowing toward your true self, your bliss.

➜ Go to your dashboard*

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK

At first glance, when conflict crops up at work or in life, it can feel like something's gone wrong. It's jarring when our expectations clash with someone else's, breaking harmony.

Instead of avoiding (or people-pleasing), what if we lean in with curiosity?

Imagine you've just had an unpleasant interaction with a co-worker or friend.

First, consider detaching from what this situation means about you personally. (See a previous issue on self-acceptance!) Detachment frees you to examine the interaction more openly.

"Why is this happening, and what can I learn from it?" "Are my actions or words aligned with what I expect from myself?"

Let's say the answer is yes.

This realization allows you to get much clearer about what matters to you. With interpersonal conflict, you also have the opportunity to reaffirm your boundaries with greater confidence. Doing so can feel scary, but you'll be stronger on the other side.

If the conflict reveals a misalignment between your actions and your values, it offers a precious opportunity to adjust.

This is empowering because you’re not changing to make someone else happy or “keep the peace.” You're adjusting to live in harmony with your true self.

Embrace conflict not as a nuisance but as a long-term gift. An opportunity to self-correct or self-affirm. Either way, conflict illuminates the path forward.

➜ Go to my dashboard*

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Q&A SPOTLIGHT

"How do you stay focused/motivated and keep avoiding distractions when your actions are not producing the desired results yet? – Fellow Victorian"

Hi Fellow Victorian,

Good question! Like most answers to good questions, it depends.

It depends on how long you've been acting. Let's say you've just embarked on a new goal or habit and distractions are already at full force. This is likely the force of procrastination at play.

The way to break through is to make the action smaller and more bite-sized. Commit to doing it for smaller time increments, for example.

If you've been doing this for a while (much longer than you expected!), and results are still nowhere to be found, this might be a lovely signpost for you to investigate and experiment with a new way of doing it.

Experimenting will undoubtedly inject more excitement and engagement into a stale action. It doesn't have to be a drastic change, either.

(If you want more guidance on when to pivot, we suggest Seth Godin’s short yet insightful read, The Dip.)

The general caveat is that change takes time. You've probably seen the graphs with the scribbles – change is rarely linear! Plateaus are a natural part of transformation.

So make it a habit to celebrate the small wins (even things like cultivating more patience or positivity – so much more valuable in the grand scheme of life!), and linger your attention on the moments you enjoy. This kind of selective attention will stoke your fire! 🔥🤓

HAVE A QUESTION?

Hit reply on any newsletter, or send an email to [email protected].

You can use your real first name, a pseudonym (fake name), or remain anonymous. Even if we don't answer your question next week, it might be the highlight of a future issue!

TIP OF THE WEEK

When conflict arises, cortisol spikes, and emotions take over.

Anger, frustration, overwhelm, fear...All of these emotions kick up mental dust keeping you from feeling good and focusing on what matters to you.

When this happens, press pause, and set aside 10 minutes to put your thoughts down on paper.

This allows you to let go of what's happening inside.

Use Notes AI to generate journal prompts that will help you process, dissolve emotions, and recenter.

IT’S ALL GOOD (NEWS)

Here are a few stories that may spark curiosity and wonder. ✨

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• 🥵 Labor: Phoenix Passes Historic Law Giving Outdoor Workers Protection From Extreme Heat

• 🧬 Biotech: Thousands With Type 1 Diabetes in England To Receive “Artificial Pancreas”

• 🐳 Wildlife: Whale Population Recovers Five Years After Hundreds Washed Up Ashore