#67: Self-Confidence

RECENTER THE SELF

Imagine strolling through the exquisitely vibrant hills in Campana, Italy. Feel the solid, fertile ground under your feet.

If you believe the grass would be greener if you were just a little better at this or that, then it’s time to remember the true source of your self-worth: You. Not what you do or have done. Your worth is unconditional, always.

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MANTRA BREAKDOWN

True self-confidence stems from letting go of fixed ideas and judgments about ourselves and embracing the diversity and richness of our own experiences, including our strengths and weaknesses.

Knowing we contain “multitudes” of self, we can release the need to be a certain way or live up to a particular standard. After all, that’s just one layer of who we are.

This mantra, originated by a poem by Walt Whitman, can be a powerful lens for cultivating a sense of self-confidence rooted in something much more powerful than what you do or what you have.

Who you are goes beyond your roles in life or even your relationships. Your self-worth transcends thought or description. Trusting that is the basis of true confidence.

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STUFF WE LIKE

Here, a Momentum team member will share a cool thing, tool, or concept that helps them experience more fun, flow & ease throughout the workweek.

“One of my favorite podcasts is ‘On Purpose‘ by Jay Shetty. I’ve been listening to it for the better part of a year, and I have to say, Jay has an unmatched ability to ask questions that yield so much wisdom, regardless of the guests, who are, of course, amazing.

One of the most popular episodes to date is a conversation with Matthew McConaughey. In his memoir ‘Greenlights,’ McConaughey prioritizes staying true to himself above all else. This episode is a powerful reminder that true self-confidence is rooted in authenticity, self-awareness, and a willingness to embrace your own unique path, especially in the face of criticism and rejection.”

— Silvi D.

HOW TO CHANNEL UNSHAKEABLE SELF-CONFIDENCE

It’s common to feel good about ourselves when we get praise from others or when things are finally going our way. But deriving our daily confidence in this way means our self-worth is not within our control… Not ideal.

To have unwavering confidence in ourselves, we need to focus on our inherent worth, regardless of external circumstances. Here are 4 insights that will help you embody a genuine form of self-confidence.

→ Self-acceptance is an absolute prerequisite to self-confidence.

There will be countless occasions we’ll "let ourselves down." We‘ll slip back into behavior we thought we’d long moved on from. We’re here to say that self-acceptance precedes any pursuit of personal development. No exceptions.

All self-acceptance comes down to is seeing your true nature as inherently whole and perfect. Your perceived flaws are just a part of your humanity. So every time you stumble, forgive yourself. Without self-acceptance, any attempt at self-confidence is built on sand.

→ Stop comparing yourself to others. (Seriously.)

This tip often falls under the "You already know this, but still do it subconsciously" category.

Even so: Comparing your internal experience to someone else’s external will always breed insecurity.

It’s also counterproductive. Your perception of someone’s appearance will never shed light on their internal experience, and vice-versa.

A way to reduce self-comparison is avoiding environments that engender this type of behavior. For example, just severely limiting your time on social media will go a long, long way.

→ Redefine what it means to “win.”

When we redefine success as "forging new ground," (instead of defining it as achieving a specific result), our fear of failure dwindles.

As author Alex Malley shares in this Forbes article, “The only way to build self-confidence is to take a risk and take action despite your fear of failure, messing up or embarrassment. If things work out, then you know you can do more than you think. If things don’t work out, you now know you can handle more than you think. Either way, you’re better off.”

→ Focus on what you can control.

We lose self-confidence when we start focusing on what’s out of our control: whether that’s a desired outcome at work, receiving validation, avoiding criticisms from others, and so on. We regain confidence when we concentrate on areas within our control, like our level of preparation or our commitment to a process.

If our definition of success is to serve others to the best of our ability, our self-confidence is not dependent on whether we receive praise. The only validation we’ll ever need comes from within, e.g., how much effort we’ve put into fulfilling our purpose.

→ Be open with your insecurities.

Being insecure is the price of being human. Accepting that part of ourselves (instead of pushing it away) allows us to move past it.

Author Mark Manson says, “Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships.”

When we're open about the “demons” we’re battling, our insecurities lose a lot of their emotional power. By sharing, we’re also inviting others to recognize and release some of the self-imposed burdens they’re carrying.

TIP OF THE WEEK

When we think of confidence, we might visualize someone in a suit striking a power pose or proudly presenting in front of a board meeting. While that might be one instance, consider this: Self-confidence is a mindset, not a performance.

Expand your understanding of what self-confidence looks like for you:

How does it feel in your body when you feel good and grounded about who you are, alone or with others? What thoughts are being generated? 

Make it an intention to channel that consistently. Over time, that state of mind will start occurring naturally.

IT’S ALL GOOD (NEWS)

Here are a few stories that may spark curiosity and wonder. ✨

• ⚖️ Culture: Brazil’s Top Court Boosts Indigenous Rights in Landmark Ruling

• 🌊 Environment: California Is Engaged in the World’s Largest Dam Removal Project

• 🍄 Health: Porcini Mushrooms Rank Among Highest in the World for Rare Essential "Vitamin"

• 🔋 Science: NASA May Have Just Cracked the Code for Replacing Lithium: “Double or Even Triple the Energy”